Couples Boot Camp
This process begins with you and your partner completing an extensive secure online questionnaire. After I read your responses, we will sit down together face to face and establish goals and measurable outcomes that you are wanting to achieve, and a time frame to do so. This is accomplished in the form of a contract.
The fee for assessment of the questionnaire and initial goal setting session of up to 1.5 hrs is $300.
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Most contracts will be for 5hrs of service to be delivered both in person and through check ins via telehealth or email. There is a minimum of 5 hrs of homework expected in this initial contract. In most cases the 5 hrs will occur over a two to three week period. Towards the end of the contract we will sit down and discuss whether satisfactory progress had been made and evaluate if another contract is needed. Cost $800.00
Traditional Marriage Therapy
Not all couples require such an intensive approach, and may experience better results with more time between sessions. This model involves the same intake evaluation as the couples boot camp with an initial 1.5 hr session and contract system, but spread over weekly or biweekly sessions. Fees are $300.00 for the intake form and initial session and $160.00 an hour for subsequent sessions.
Marriage Enrichment/ Skill Building
This is a course that has the ability to help any couple develop tools for communicating. It can be done either in person or virtually. You will be given a hand out to read in advance of each session. You will then be given the opportunity to clarify how it works and coached in applying the skill in front of your therapist. This is followed it up with practice “homework”. Once the couple feels they have mastered a skill, they can book a follow up appointment where they are assessed for readiness to move to the next skill. All couples should pass three skill assessments to complete the basic skills course.
Cost for this program is a base rate of $400.00 dollars which includes three 40 min sessions and all materials. If couples are unable to move past an assessment, additional fees will be required at $50-100 dollars to cover the additional coaching sessions.
Length and Frequency of Sessions
I recognize that different people and different situations require flexibility in approach to warrant the most benefit. I will see clients at a frequency and length of session that works best. I may see people for the traditional one hour once a week or I may see clients for longer than one hour. I am also available to do more intensive work where a couple or individual requires several sessions over a weekend, or a couple of sessions a day over a weekend or longer. This is usually an option for those who travel from out of town or are on leave from a job. In general, I like to see a client a minimum of once a week for the first 3-6 session, I find any less than this is not beneficial to the therapy process.
How Can Marriage Counselling Help?
The answer to this is, it depends. It depends on you and it depends on the therapist.
Let start with the marriage therapist. Not all counsellors or therapists have the same kind of training. In fact, in British Columbia, anyone can call themselves a marriage counsellor. It’s a case of buyer beware. There are licensing bodies that counsellors and therapists can voluntarily join who set minimum standards of education and regulate the ethical conduct of its members. The BC Association of Clinical Counsellors (BCACC) is one such organization and I am a member of this regulatory group. When it comes to training specifically in Marriage Counselling, I am one of a very small number of Nanaimo counsellors who has a Master’s Degree in Marriage, Family and Child Counselling. However, studies show that training is only a part of the effectiveness. How much the client believes in the therapist and their methods can make a big difference in how effective the therapy is. I hope my website gives you a good idea of who I am. Please feel free email me questions to help you determine if I am the therapist for you. It is best that both partners take an active role in choosing their marriage therapist. This will increase the chances that couples therapy is successful.
The marriage counsellor, and the skills they bring, are only a part of the equation. The rest depends on the couple.
You are likely to be successful if…
Both you and your partner are motivated to make changes in yourselves, to take responsibility for your part in the marital problems.
Both parties are open to new ways of doing things and have the fortitude to stick with the process, because change will not likely happen overnight, especially if you have waited years to come to therapy.
You are not likely to be successful if…
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One partner is satisfied with the relationship exactly as it is or has no intention of working on the relationship.
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One partner has made up their mind they are ending the marriage.
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There is untreated addictions in one or both partners.
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The relationship is so unsafe that one partner’s fear of retributions outside the session is keeping them from fully participating in the session.
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Homework assignments are repeatedly not done by one or both parties.
Marriage counselling by a trained marriage therapist can help you discover the dynamics of what is keeping you stuck and teach you healthier ways of relating to your partner. It can help you realize the things that get in the way of effective communication with your partner, teaching you new and more effective ways of communicating and resolving issues. It offers a neutral and safe environment to work on difficult issues. It can help you find your way back to closer connection and greater intimacy, or in some cases, clarify the real reasons the marriage needs to end. Couples that choose to part can use therapy to move on in positive ways that do not do further damage to themselves, their partners and their families.
Before You Call it Quits on the Relationship Consider this...
Studies show that problems in one relationship frequently crop up in the next. Those people who take the time to find out what it is that I do in this relationship, that contributes to the unresolved conflict and change their ways of dealing with such conflicts are far more likely to go on to future successful relationships.
Most people seriously underestimate the cost finically, and emotionally to you and any children that may be involved. Our society is orientated to the quick fix that involves little or no real work or quickly replacing what is broke. You need to be realistic about whether another relationship will really be so much better. You need to be realistic about whether the problems you experience with your spouse will cease to be a problem once you are no longer together. Where children are involved this is seldom the case. Before ending the relationship it is worth trying to see if you can fix it. This in no way advocates that you stay in a relationship that is physically or emotionally abusive, or that you return to an abusive partner. This is too high a cost to you or your children.
