Personal growth, Better communication, Healthy relationships
From the moment a parent discovers they have conceived their child, a parent’s attention turns to what it is that they can do to ensure their child is going to experiences the best that life has to offer. Attempts are made to save for the child’s future education, ensure maximum brain development through prenatal nourishment, exposure to classical music, early reading programs… and the list goes on. Often in this achievement orientated approach, the importance of the emotional development of the child goes unnoticed or receives little attention, until the child’s behavior becomes a problem.
When problems with children arise, it is most effective to treat the family, not just the individual child. It is a brave parent who says “what is my part in this?” When faced with issues involving pre-adolescent children, I prefer to work with the parents. The reason being, parent’s can have a much bigger influence on their children’s overall coping than I can have in one hour, once a week. Children learn most of their coping skills from one or both parents. If the parents can model something different, the children are going to assimilate this much quicker and much better than any words. Getting a child to behave in a particular manner is not as straightforward a task as one is often led to believe. If you want to help your child change let me come along side you and coach you and help you see what might not be abundantly obvious.
No one plans to get divorced. Most parents when faced with divorce are concerned about the effects of divorce on children. Research has repeatedly shown that it is not the divorce that negatively impacts children, as much as it is choices parents make based out of their own reactivity to their X. Counselling, or mediation, can help separated and divorced parents make healthy choices around how to best parent and co-parent their children.
I have two support options I offer for parenting through separation and divorce.
• Help you learn how to communicate with your partner in healthy and effective manner and /or Help you cope better with the frustration you experience in dealing with your partner. This can be done either individually or together.
• Help you come up with an agreement on how best to parent your children when living in two separate locations. I will help you cut through the issues that may be keeping you stuck and guide you in finding the best options for your child or children under the circumstances. I will advice you on what is developmentally appropriate. I will be on the side of your children, not on either of the parent’s side. This process involves all family members, including the school age children. It may involve grandparents if they have a significant involvement in caretaking for the child. Sessions usually involve both joint and individual sessions. This option is for parents that are serious about putting the needs of the children first and is not for those embroiled in custody battles.